Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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