I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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