How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
