we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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