He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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