You can't special order awesome
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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