i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
