We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i think im in europe. pls send help
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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