Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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