I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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