Ambien. No doubt about it.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
