your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
