Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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