pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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