just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
