Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
