Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I know her cup size but not her name....
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