tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Quick, to the slutcave!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
