And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's blow job season.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize