rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
