There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
