Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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