She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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