Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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