frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
