Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
