All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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