stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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