At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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