Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
