I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
