this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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