Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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