so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
