So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
