I accidentally burped into my bong.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
