I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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