he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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