i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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