my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's blow job season.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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