Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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