OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
