Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Damn victory sex feels great
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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