You're my little dorito
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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