I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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