sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
