He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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