Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
