don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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