I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
