I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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