Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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