SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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