Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
