lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
ttyl tear gas
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize