Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
